ケッキョクオーストラリアに来れて

ケッキョクオーストラリアに来れて　

よかったなと。
思ってきた。
やっぱり、良い人たちに会ったよ。
それが大きい。
良い友達ができた。
なんだかんだで文句言ってたけど、
結局は住めば都。着て良かった。

明日テスト。がんばろう。

unfair

some people are doing shitty degree. they get 6 or 7 because they are doing easy courses. i'm jealous. economics is fucking difficult and i am fucking stressed out . some people are drinking beer right now. some people were playing the fucking video games at the common room last night. i am so jealous of you guys fucking do nothing.

saiaku

i have no fucking time.
i am so fucking busy for studying.

for 3700, there are so much to read and remember.
how am i suppose to know everything for just 3months?
do you expect us to learn that thing that you are doing for your entire life?
it's so fucking unfair. don't expect us to learn everything what you are doing for your entire life for only fucking 3 month and you don't even teach well motherfucker.
i hate that bitch. and she doesn't even respond my fucking e-mails. i fucking spent 3000 dollars for your shitty lectures. at least fucking respond my fucknig e-mail. who the fuck do you think you are? you are a fucking shitty lecturer.

i fucking hate her. my another class is taught by her and it is absolutely shit. she expects us to learn eveyrthing. fuck you

and

i think he is a bad person actually. i can feel that he only thinks about himself and never willing to help people. he really thinks about himself all the time, and trying to benefit from others by using them. i know. i can feel it.
in fact , many of my friends are avoiding him.
anyways, before i asked him to save me a dinner because i was away from the college.
isn't it so easy to do ? just go there and put the food on the plate.
but he said "I AM BUSY. SO I CANNOT HELP". Ok. so are you in the middle of the fucking crisis or what? you don't even have a min to spare for your friend? not thoughtful. i think he is annoying.

oh shit, i remembered that i asked him to save a dinner for me last year too.
he told me. "yes" then when i get back, he said" I forgot". What the fuck?
i really think i cannot trust him.

then, i am going to hk for 3 days.
i asked him whether i can stay his house and hang out with him for 3 dyas.
i asked him a month ago, then i get back to me finally today.
sent me a sms saying " You cannot stay my house due to the family issue".
i know he is bullshitting anyways.
i hate him. really. he is annoying. not just because he doesn't let me stay his house. because i don't reall care. in fact, i don't want to stay his house anyways. i hate him. i think it's just because he is annoying and not nice. i think he is a dick head. i can understand hwy everybody is avoiding him.

anyways, i am not a friend of him anymore. i will avoid him. not just because he doesn't mllet me stay his house. don't get me wrong. but i finally realized that he is a dick head. . . from my experience. . . he is pretty much spoiled.

studying my ass off

i am studying my ass off. so much study.
lately i only sleep for 5 hours, and most of the day i try to study.
well, i take a rest sometimes, like now. but mostly i try to study.
in fact, i don't have enough time even though i study so much.
probably i study for 13 hours ?? maybe even more.

anyways, i don't think i can get along with hong kong people.
i don't know why, but i feel some distance between me and them.
i try to hang out with them, but seems like we don't get a long well.
i have been tryign to be friends with them, but i feel some distance.
i don't know why. i usually get along well with most of the people from all over the world. but hk people. i don't know. i don't think i am compatible with them.
i am not being a racist or anything, but i don't get along well.
so i think it was a good decision not to go tohk for study.
i don't know if i can fit in to that place.
on the other hand, i think i get along well with singapore people.
i personally think they are nice. i think i will try to work there in the future.

anyways, it was really a great decision not to go to hk for study.
the university over there is not that great anyways. and i don't know if i get along well with hk people...since i usually don't. no that i hate them or anything. i like them. but i am not compatible with them.

get back to study.

that girl

that fat one. she is very sticky. when i dance with her, i can feel her sweat. + the bad thing is my arm directly touches her arm pits. . . : ( i suppose it's smelly. but before i feel it, i just washed it. and when i dance with fat girls, they swing me too much and i feel like i am controlled by them. they have so much power and it's very difficult to swing them back. i think they can carry me...

ah

ah. it was the last salsa lesson for this year.
it was so much fun. i really really enjoyed it.
in fact, i should've asked some people's contacts... i actually regret.
it's been two months since i've known them. and i really had fun with some of them.
i thought that german girl is so sexy by the way. she has a beautiful face with the blue eyes and blond hair. perfect body. haha.
oh and the other one is actually cute too. she looks like 15 year old so i am not really interested but still i should've asked her contact or something. but i think we will meet some other time. . . hopefully. i've met some nice people...which is fortunate. next semester would be the last semester for me at Australia. so i should participate this sort of activity again. it was the best 70 bucks i've spent in my entire life. well, not my entire life but 70bucks for this was really good............. i met new people, i get to know how to dance... i've got some basic movements so it's great.
ahh. i should've asked her phone numbe just in case. when i was with her i was not even tempted but after i left i sort of regret that i didn't aske her phone number. usually if i want to ask her number i would. but this time was different. i did not even want to ask her phone number but now i regret. it's kind of strange. maybe because i think she kind of liked me for some reason so it would've been better if we could've hanged out. she lives close to my house so it would've been fun.....aaaaah.
but maybe i will see her some other time...mayb next year ? who knows. . .

my friend is drunk

i am living in on campus college.so i live close to many of my friends.
and sometimes i can hear what they are talking about.
looks like my idian friend and Danish friend are drunk now.
in fact, i liked that Danish girls before and i asked her out about 6 months ago. haha.
she rejected. hahaha. always. anyways, i think she is getting fat and the more time i spend with her, the more i feel that her personality is not the best. but i still think she is my awesome friend. i really like her still. i mean as a friend. she is very talkative. i'm going to miss this girl too.

なんだかんだでさびしくなるのかな

あああああ。　オーストラリアの生活ももうすぐ終わりか。。。。。

さびしくなるよはっきり言って。だってさ、もうなんだかんだで、２年以上。２年と半年くらいいる。
大学の友達の多くはオーストラリアで会った人たちだし。さんざんオーストラリアはつまらないとか
何も無いとか、そういう風に文句をいいつつも、結局楽しんでたのかもしれない。

いざ、あともう少ししか時間がない。そう考えると、やっぱりさびしくなるのかな。。。
僕は１１月に日本に帰る。それで、２月の終わりまでオーストラリアに戻ってこない。
んで、オーストラリアで一学期過ごす。それは６月で終わりだ。

もし、カナダの大学オッケーが出たら、７月にはカナダに行くと思う。
だから、僕のオーストラリア生活は、今年の１ヶ月＋来年３ヶ月の合計４ヶ月しかない。
そう思うと、ものすごい短いと思わない？すごいさびしくなってきた。
なんだかんだで、オーストラリアは僕にとって大切な国。
もし僕がいま１８で、それでこれから新しい大学を選べる。そういうことになれば、
絶対にオーストラリアは僕の第一希望にはならない。
それでも、実際２年以上、何が会ったか。どんな人間に会ったか。
そういうことを考えていると、本当に僕の人生に色々大きな影響を与えたなと思う。
。。。僕がこの国から去る時、さびしくなるだろうな。ほんとうに。

やっぱり友達だよね。それがさびしい。
ずっと同じ友達と一緒に永遠といることはできない。
特に僕は海外にいく男だし、同じ場所に滞在しない人間だ。
i think it's going to be so sad if i leave this country.
i really don't want to say good bye to all of my friends here in Australia.
i met so many stupid people, but i met some great people too.
if i leave here, i would have to say good bye to them. then i cannot see them very often anymore.
right now, i see my friends all the time. same friends, everyday,i feel like it is a normal thing now. but again, when you lose something that you had normally...it is going to be very very sad. like the time i lost my hearings...i was devastated.

but i guess that's life. i would have to say good bye to many of my friends anyways... i think that's life. meet the great people...but in the end, say good bye.......

i am especially sad about my canadian buddy. he actually changed my life. he taught me so much things. and even though our ages are really different,,,like 10 years.... we can still get along well...he is the smartest guy i've ever met... and he is the one of the few people that i can trust in australia.......so i don't want to say good bye to him. but then again, i met so many great people in japan, and i had say good bye to them................ it was very sad. in fact, i wish i were still with them.... but it's life. it is not possible. but actually me and some of my friends from japan are still keeping in touch. e-mailing almost everyday...we are best friends...talk on skype or msn all the time... so it's possible to keep in touch with someone really close. so maybe i should not worry too much about it.

but...it's different to talk on somebody online...and face-to face...........

in fact, i am planning to go to Canada for study for 6months. but i can cancel it for staying in australia. but i may regret if i do that............aaahhh.



----

by the way, i may be able to get a new girlfriend. she is from malaysia and i think we get along well. i think she may like me. at least she doesn't hate me. i asked her out to the lunch last sunday and we had a great time. i am planning to ask her out tomorrow actually...for just for a walk to the restaurant to buy a source. maybe at night. maybe i can hold her hands... within 3days i will make a move. and i am really positive that this time i will succeed. it's been a long time since i haven't had a girlfriend. more than 2years. Since i came to australia, there is nothing really happening to me regarding girls.some people showed me interested. but they were not my type... since i don't' get a girlfriend for ages, some people may thing i am gay. haha.lol anyways, that malaysian girl is very pretty and very thoughtful. i like her. i hope i will succeed.

----

i will have the finals soon. so i'd better get back to study. i hate it. i don't have time to hang out with friends........ ahhhhh. annoying.

i may move out

i might want to move out from the college.
today there was the meeting for electing the executive positions, and i am skeptical about their quality. also the questions that they were asked were not specific at all. they were just talking about general stuffs... so i don' know if they do the great jobs. they just say something really vague, but they still get elected. but anyways, i think some of them are nice.
and a lot of people who are asses are staying. 120 people are staying. so more than half of them. anyways, it's going to be only for a semester, and there are some good people left too...so maybe i shouldn't be worrying too much. i have some close friends. so it's ok.

i think i am going to apply to McGill. The reasons are

It's located in Montreal which is a French speaking area. I'd like to enhance my French skill in order to apply for the job in the international organizations such as UN.

McGill University has an excellent global reputation and going to study at one of the best universities in North America would enhance my confidence as a Japanese citizen. Not very many Japanese people get to study at the very best English speaking institutions, and if I could achieve that, it would give me a great confidence on me. . . maybe this is not that good...

anyways, i can almost guarantee you that there would be no major changes next year. so it would be boring like this semester. but again, i can hang out with my close friends, get to know some new people... so it won't be too bad.

it's been raining

it's been raining for fucking 2 days and i am fucking annoyed.
i hate the gloomy weather.

in fact, if i go to UK, it would be horrible and so depressing.
i heard the average sunshine time per day in Manchester is only 9min.
sucks to be in Manchester........ but still it is a very exiting UK city...
a big trade off.

you know, i think brisbane is kind of a nice city. i have to admit.
safe, warm, nice weather...(except for now)

i have changed my flight ticket to 5th of Dec.
my friend in paris just told me that he won't be back to paris until 15th of Dec....
that means i don't know what i am going to do for 10 days !
i might as well stay in helsinki for 2 days then fly into paris.

i actually thought i have many friends in paris. but one of them does not even contact me yet. maybe he doesn't use the facebook ? i don't know. maybe i should send an e-mail to him . i really want to see my old friends.

it's very hard to keep in touch with all of my friends.
in fact , it's very hard. some of my friends are really bad at keeping in touch, so
the friendships are dissapearing. i can feel it. especally you. probably you don't read this blog . . . we used to be really reall close friends. but he is in japan and i am in australia... he doesn't show up on msn, doesn't reply e-mail and everything.. we used to be really really best friends... but i don't know if we are now. never hear from you . very hard to keep in touch with everybody. that's for sure. i lose some of my friends if i don't see them. but always, i keep in touch with the best of my best friends...if they are willing...

environment?

yes, the preservation of the environment is important. but definitely to the certain degree. some people are too extreme like sea sheparad. i don't even know how to spell their name.

some of the environmentalists are so hypocritical and i am actually so annoyed. those kind always complain about somebody, try to alert people and stuff, but they never do anything by themselves. always their interest comes first. '


///////////
///////////
////

now different story. i fucking hated that french girl. .she is a fucking racist. she was so racist that i cannot believe what she actually said. i fucking hate you bitch. you are so close minded and you won't probably be successful. i really hate that cunt. i really really really fucking hate you little shit.

i hate the environmentalists

i hate them. they are very hypocritical. today i paricipated the environmentalist event. it was something like the expo of the environmentally free products, organic products...and so on.

today i was participating as a volunteer. and they told me to put the all the same poster in the one location. i think it's waste of paper. why does anyone need the same posters in the same spot ? ? ? Aren't you supposed to be an environmentalists ? ? ? So annoying. What's the whole point of doing this exposition. I was really annoyed.

and these people that I was helping were so unfriendly. i don't know why. those hippis. and one guy told us to do the garbage cleaning. why the fuck do i need to do that ? I told them i do not want to do that before i participate. then, the one guy who was ordering us was fucking stubborn. really. he told us to carry the garbage boxes and find the garbage bins which is 3/4 full. one girl checked everything and she told us everything is 1/4 full. therefore, NO NEED TO carry this fucking heavy garbage bins and walk around.

but that fucking idiot told us that we have to walk around the park and find something which is 3/4 full. are you fucking kidding me ? You are a true idiot. why the fuck do we need to do that ? that is very inefficient. just we should do something else and while we are doing something else, we can find some bins which are 3/4 full. then we can change it. why the fuck do we need to walk around until the fucking bins get full ? ? ? He is fucking stupid.

So me and C left. it's fucking ridiculous that we need to do that. we left the bins and secretly walking away from the park, and we went to the lunch. it's kind of funny. but i actually feel a little of guilty. but i think it's fine. i was only willing to help when they are reasonable. those people i thought were unreasonable and i didn't like them. really i don't. most of them are very unfriendly and don't even smile. what the fuck do you think you are. i am not here to clean your fucking shit.

so we left. i just came home, went to sleep for 2 hours... my friend from america called me...talked him for 1 hour.... surfing the internet... now is the time for the dinner. i kind of feel like i wasted my whole saturday. but it's all good. i won't go out tonight, so i am just gonna study tonight so fucking hard. otherwise i will fail. i need to go to a law school so i must have a good GPA.

bye

喜んでもらえた

マレーシア人の友達が先日お誕生日だった。
すごく優しくて良い子なので、僕は結構この子のことがスキ。
だから、せっかくなので、スイスのリントだかなんとかとかいう高いチョコを買って
部屋に持っていって夜にプレゼントしたら、すごい喜んでくれた。
人にありがとうとか喜んでもらうことってうれしいとおもふ。
んで、さっきまた会ったら、なんかまたお礼を言われた。
なんかうれしかった。お礼が本当に心からのお礼と感じる。
心から感謝されてると感じることができる。そういうのってすごくうれしい。

そういえば、詳細はかけないけど、一年以上悩んでいる友達に相談を受けた。
そしたら、ものすごい元気になってくれた。必死に僕の話をして元気になってもらおうと説得したら
本当に元気になってくれた。すごいうれしかった。２時間くらい必死に説得したんだ。論理的に。

僕やっぱりインドにいってがんばってみたい。人に喜んでもらえるのって本当にうれしいと感じる。
感謝されることってうれしい。もっといろんな人に心からできることをしていきたい。

勉強しヨット。

ひとひとdひとだひとだsひとだすひとだすkひとだすひと

there are many nice people

i think there are many nice people around me i think.
look, i talked to the one individual and she said "so what? i hate japanese, sorry for that"

So cannot be friends? very bad individual i met.
she just generalizes the japanese people and refuse to being friends.
this is the first time it happens to me, and i was actually surprised me.
what kind of racist are you? ? ? Actually,
All the French people i met were nice to me, many of them were interested in my culture and asked me questions about som many things about culture, language,,,and i was happy about it. so i kind of thought french people are amazing. but now, i just realized there are some racists like this in france too. is it too late to notice?
I thought i can be friends with anyone, but there are some people who are fundamentally dead. i have many friends anyways, so i don't need you. but still, i feel sorry for her being such a close minded. i cannot believe there are some racists like this still. really.... it is 21 century man......... i think she is amazingly stupid. really.
well, racists...
it's same as everywhere. so i cannot say specifically australia is a racist country. really. i think everywhere is racist.

tired of it

tired of following the financial news now. i am really tired of it.
everything changes everyday and i cannot just keep reading the newspaper !!!!! angry !!!!!!

ナンパ失敗w

またしてもナンパ失敗www　

今回はハードルが高かった！w

とりあえず、昨晩レーザーポインターのいたずらをされた。目に入ったかと思って不安になったから
眼科にいったんだ。３２ドルかかるけど、失明したり網膜が傷ついてたりしたら嫌だから行った。
大学には眼科があるんだけど、そこの目医者さんがかわいいんだよねwww　２５−２９だとおもう。

それでさー目の検査をしてるときにさー雑談を初めて、今週一緒に映画行きませんか？と聞いてみたけど
あーーーー　忙しいんだ　とかいわれてwwwww　轟沈！w　まぁいいや。もう最近は断られてなんぼだよねw
チャレンジした自分は、勇気を出したなとなんか満足感に浸れるからナンパはたのしいのだw（完全に本末転倒w）

もう人生短いしさ。 life is too short to waste. i started hitting on girls all the time lately. today while i was dancing with that german girl, i told her she is beautiful and stuff. i think i have nothing to lose........ and i invited her to come to the XXX festival this saturday. i hope she comes. . . . .

人間として僕はだめだ

僕は人間としてだめだと思う。
他の友達に対して上から目線で話すことがある。
よく考えてみたらそうだと気がついた。
人のことは痛烈に批判するくせに、
僕がこんなのだと説得力も糞も無いと思う。
これから反省して、もっと友達を尊敬しなくてはならない。
もっと人間としてまともになるために、とにかく反省。がんばる。

where should i go

i am still thinking about going on an exchange.
i actually don't have much time to spend thinking about these things.
i've got other stuff to do...assignments...study for the exams...

i am hoping to go to U-Penn, MaGill or Berkley.
I'm very lucky because my uni has exchange agreements with those prestigious unis and i get to apply for those universities.
imagine being a student of penn... that would be the life changing experience.
there are so many childres of influencial people in the world. i will probably meet so many potential world leaders in the world. it is the world top university and it is obvious that it attracts the best of the best people. imagine get to know these people. it would probably change my life.

well, i have to write something for the application. it's about 200 words. so i have to be very specific. i have to do this application quickly otherwise it bothers my studies.

shit. i have to work tomorrow. i know it's only 3 hours and 30min. but it's actually taking up a lot of time. 3.5 hours ? yes, it's still annoying.

u-penn... the prestigious ivy league university. it attracts the best people from all over the world and it would be a life changing experience if i could make friends with them.

u-penn. it provides the world best education quality and i would like to experience the ivy league quality...

probably these statements are not convincing. i' m very stupid so i cannot come up with the good ideas. i am so bad.


in fact, i am thinking about applying for magill too.... it's an excellent university + montreal is french speaking area. i can improve my french... oh ... it's hard to decide. .. . . . . .. . . . . . should i go to montreal?

well i should go to bed..........

magill is a great university but 80% of students are canadian. i think it's not really diversed. but don't get me wrong. i love canadians. but i feel like magill is a prestigious uni but it does not attract much international students ? ? ? or international students don't get accepted ? i don't know. when i hear 80 percent domestic, i think the uni is less diversed.

i have to

i have to improve my english. otherwise i cannot be convince people...I cannot even get in to any of the law school if my english is like this. in 8 years time, hopefully it's much better than now.

i am reading the editorials of Washington Post and New York Times so that I can learn from it. Personally I hate NYT because they always complain about Japan. But it's one of the most popular news paper so I believe they ought to have one of the best writers in the world. Counterpart of NYT is Washington Post. I probably like W-Post because they hate NYT. Enemy's enemy is your friend. I will read them and compare.learn from them.

i prefer to write my diary in japanese, but i want to improve my english now so there is no choice................

that surprised me

i was surprised at what i heard from that individual.
we were talking about the education level of America.

I believe there are some uneducated people in America,
but I never thought all of them are damn. In fact, I think in an opposite way.
I believe there are some damn people there, but there are so many smart people.
It's same as the rest of the world.

But he told me that many of them are damn. i think he watches tv too much.
most of the tv shows just make fun of Americans, probably because those people who make those tv shows are very insecure.

he even told me that , "Did you notice that XXX was the only American that I talked last year? He was the only one who can talk with me with my brain capacity".

I was surprised about what I heard. I thought you were the dammnest fuck in the world. First, I don't think you know the rest of Americans at the dorm well. Are you saying that Americans who don't hang out with you are damn ? or cannot talk to you because they lack the brain capacity ? You think you are so smart ? fuck you. It was the dammnest comment ever. that made me annoyed. so I told him what i thought..."but did you know them very well ? ? ? "

he told me, "No. But you can tell when you hear what they say". . . . .
I don't think you have that much of people's skill. I don't think you are that smart you fat shit. Are you that cool ? ? ? ? ? In fact, I have been thinking you are so insecure and idiot. I didn't know you were smart you fuck ! ! !

It's amazing to hear the people's wrong perception. He thinks he is so smart, or so cool, but everybody thinks in the opposite way. . . :(





Also, my Australian friend told me that generally Australian farmers are more educated than the farmers in America. I was curious how he knows about it. So I asked him "How do you compare these people without your subjective opinion". He told me, "Because I heard from XXX, XXX and XXX, and they all say that."

What kind of unconvincing comment is that...



-

you know,,, i can think, but sometimes i cannot convince people or cannot say anything. deep inside of my mind, i know what it is, but sometimes i cannot say. maybe because of my low english ability. i have to improve my english before i go to the law school in 8 years time. i really want to go to the law school in america.

i fear

i fear. if i go on to an exchange, i would have to say good bye to my good friend. especially j is one of my best friends and it would be very sad if i could not see him anymore. he has influenced my life so much and i learnt so much from him. i respect him as a person at the same time i like him as a great buddy. so it would be very sad if i need to say good bye to him. i always see him and talk about funny stuff and serious stuff, life... girls... going for a walk and the gym... going to the grocery shopping... everything what we doing now seem to be a normal routine for me NOW, but what happens if i cannot do these things anymore? It wouldbe sad. i know it wouuld be sad. because once you lose something that you had, you feel very sad. once i lost my hearings, i was devasteded.

but what happens if i don't go for an exchange because of my friends? i ma not too sure if it's a great choice. my friend gave up going for an exchange because of her boyfriend, but short after she broke up with her boyfriend and now she told me she deeply regret her decision. i am not saying that me and my friends will fight and lose friendship or anything, but it's just if you don't take a chance which might change your life just because you like your friend or girlfriend or boyfriend, you might regret later. i regret about so many decisions that i made in the past, and i do not want to do the same................

i am thinking, i think i should take this chance of going to UK, learn and diversify myself. it's very sad that you cannot talk or hang out with my best friends as i used to,,, but maybe that's life.... you cannot be with someone who you like all the time. we are living in a society wher epeople move around everywhere. i move around everywhere and my friends do the same. it would be very difficult for us to be in the same place and hang out forever. so i don't know. maybe going on an exchange is very sad, but maybe it's a life. it is a pain that life contains, but maybe it makes the friendship more varuable,,,stronger...




...

i've got to do my assignment now.

articulate myself

i want to go to the law school in the future. maybe when i become 25.
many of the world class leaders has J.D, and makes me feel like the law education is the essential for the leadership role. the law students are trained to make arguments which is pretty important for the negotiations in the business.
barak obama has J.D, the CEO of Goldman Sachs has J.D. Everybody has JD and I want it too. if I could go to the law school , i only want to go to one of the Ivy Leagues, Oxford, Cambridge,,, at least McGill. Otherwise no point.

everybody has bachelors and it is absolutely worthless, it's like an high high school education. i've got to do further education.

i decided to write in english because my english writing skill is very poor. I want to improve my english skill and articulate myself. my canadian friend told me that i should read the editorial sections of the news papers and start writing anything in english. i need to articulate myself. in fact, i need to impress people, i need to convince people. so i need a good english skill.



today, the ramadan finished. my malaysian friends invited me to the celebration. they told me that it is the biggest celebrations in a year and some of the malaysians even went back to malaysia to celebrate. that's how important it is. i really liked the hospitality of malaysian people. they are so kind to me and welcoming. Unlike Australians. If I go to the Australian party, they never welcome me and in fact they are all drunk and no one reall talks. malaysians are always welcoming and smiling and they talk to me and it's so much easier to get along with them. maybe because i am from japan and i am asian ? it's very hard.
one of the malaysian friends told me that if i take off my glasses, i look more handsome. that comment made me happy. she was a nice person.

anyways, i haven't studied much lately. i am actually worried.
i am studing stats a lot now. and i am going to read a text book of micro economics from now.