i fear

i fear. if i go on to an exchange, i would have to say good bye to my good friend. especially j is one of my best friends and it would be very sad if i could not see him anymore. he has influenced my life so much and i learnt so much from him. i respect him as a person at the same time i like him as a great buddy. so it would be very sad if i need to say good bye to him. i always see him and talk about funny stuff and serious stuff, life... girls... going for a walk and the gym... going to the grocery shopping... everything what we doing now seem to be a normal routine for me NOW, but what happens if i cannot do these things anymore? It wouldbe sad. i know it wouuld be sad. because once you lose something that you had, you feel very sad. once i lost my hearings, i was devasteded.

but what happens if i don't go for an exchange because of my friends? i ma not too sure if it's a great choice. my friend gave up going for an exchange because of her boyfriend, but short after she broke up with her boyfriend and now she told me she deeply regret her decision. i am not saying that me and my friends will fight and lose friendship or anything, but it's just if you don't take a chance which might change your life just because you like your friend or girlfriend or boyfriend, you might regret later. i regret about so many decisions that i made in the past, and i do not want to do the same................

i am thinking, i think i should take this chance of going to UK, learn and diversify myself. it's very sad that you cannot talk or hang out with my best friends as i used to,,, but maybe that's life.... you cannot be with someone who you like all the time. we are living in a society wher epeople move around everywhere. i move around everywhere and my friends do the same. it would be very difficult for us to be in the same place and hang out forever. so i don't know. maybe going on an exchange is very sad, but maybe it's a life. it is a pain that life contains, but maybe it makes the friendship more varuable,,,stronger...




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i've got to do my assignment now.